Seeing at Christmas
My Year of Keeping it Simple
Grandma Time
52 Years and Still Going Strong
Staring at the Angels
Little Lucas Alexander, born July 19th, is our latest grandchild, and our latest joy. Watching him, I see all over again how very powerless newborns are. He cannot move his arms and legs consciously. He cannot lift his head, although every
Try and try and you will get it, Grandma!
What I Love about Women and Punchbowls
The Light I Need to See
Waiting
Happy People
“They were happy people,” our guide says as she stands in the open doorway, following our tour of the beauty-filled and welcoming Bellingrath House. “You can tell. It’s a happy place.” “They” were Walter and Essie Bellingrath, who left their home
The Ocean Springs Mardi Gras Parade
The parade was to come right by our rented cottage, so my husband Frank and I attended… and stepped into another world. Being near the end of the parade route, we spent an hour waiting, walking up and down the street,
Of Wonder, and Beaches
So here Frank and I are again, in the land of white beaches, warm sunshine and blue skies. So grateful. Grateful for a safe drive down. Grateful that our loved ones and friends back home are safely through that record-shattering cold
A Prayer for You at Christmas
Dear readers, I am so grateful that you have chosen to join me here in my blog, to accompany me on this journey. I feel humble that you take enough time out of your busy lives to join me here. ***
Giving to Myself at Christmas
This is the season of giving, and I swung into full giving mode a while back. I usually enjoy giving to others. But today I woke up cranky and irritable. I’ve been giving so much that I feel drained and worn
Raking Leaves
I love to rake leaves. I love to escape from my house, with its endless to do lists, to the freedom outside. I love to count all the different colors in one gathered sweep of the rake: crimson from our Autumn
God’s Refrigerator
One of the most difficult spiritual lessons I’ve ever had to learn is that God loves me unconditionally, no matter what I do or don’t do. It is so much easier for me to think that I can at least partially
“Changing Direction”: The Art of Positive Distraction
When I was sick with Covid, doing pretty much nothing but aching, resting, and sleeping more than I’ve slept in years, I got a call out of the blue from a young mother I had met months before. She needed to
Thanks, Aunt Pat
Recently my husband and I traveled to East Jordan, Michigan, for the celebration of life of my mother’s sister, Aunt Pat. Patricia Vance Schloop was several months past 100 years old when she passed on, vibrant and beloved to the end.
Farewell to Aunt Dorothy
Earlier this month, Frank and I were in Marlborough, MA to attend the funeral of my husband’s aunt, Dorothy Francis. Last time Frank and I were in Marlborough, we were caring for our baby granddaughter Hanah while her mother Elizabeth was
Lighting a Candle, Planting a Tree
There’s an old proverb that says you can either curse the darkness or light a candle. I thought of that proverb lately when I was feeling overwhelmed and helpless about our recent terrible air quality from the burning forests in Canada.
Passalong Stories
There are living stories in my yard, putting out leaves in the spring, blooming in the summer, going dormant in the fall. Stories of endurance. Of perseverance. Of stopping to delight in the unexpected. Of using one’s ingenuity to purchase beauty
Joy Comes With the Morning
When my father was dying and Mom and I were standing at his bedside in the hospital, Mom asked me to read Psalm 35 aloud to Dad. When I got to verse five, “Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy
A Day for Gratitude
In 1961, in a small town in rural Michigan, a first-grade teacher helped her students fill paper cups with dirt and plant a begonia seed in each cup. I was in that class. We set our paper cups on the sun-drenched
No Reason to Quit
In the family I grew up in, not having the resources to do a job was never a reason to quit; it was merely an opportunity for ingenuity. You searched for creative solutions, you got the job done, and then you
Anchored Beside the River
Sometimes I get infected with the belief that I have to fix every problem that comes at me. I forget that the answer to many problems is just to accept them. When I keep looking for a fix that isn’t there,
The Beam in the Bay
Here on the Gulf Coast I walk on the beach every day, beside the water. I’ve always felt close to God on a beach. Here is where I bring my concerns, my issues, my questions. I try to throw them all
Embrace the Fog
Here we are at last, in a little Mississippi town on the Gulf of Mexico. We have come here to avoid the winter ice and a massive remodeling project in our home up north. And, providentially, as a place for my
The Christmas Spirit
I used to measure my Christmas seasons by how much I could “get the Christmas spirit,” that is, feel the joy of Christmas. I would feel cheated and mildly anxious if that “Christmas spirit” and “Christmas happiness” didn’t show up on
God’s Mailbox
At the top of Nine Mile Mountain on the Snow Mountain Ranch YMCA of the Rockies property in Colorado is a mailbox labelled “God’s Mailbox”. Anyone can climb the mountain and leave a letter to God there. We climbed Nine Mile
Fifty Years and Going Strong
Fifty years ago this month I went off to college for the first time, a timid 18-year-old introvert, thrilled to be there, eager to learn, but anxious and unsure of myself. In the room next door in my dorm, there was
The Gift of Hope
People think that only the elderly, living single, forgotten lives, can feel lonely and despondent. People do not realize that the young, invisible in a crowd, can feel just as lonely, and just as miserable. When I was in sixth grade,
Dis- the Discougagement
All of us get discouraged at times. That’s part of being human. But if your heart is telling you to do something, don’t let the discouragement stop you. Yes, rejection hurts. It hurts to be belittled by the world or even
Lilac Legacy
Each of the pass-along plants in my yard comes with a story. The most powerful story, however, comes from the lilac bush, and with it, an unsolved mystery. When my husband and I built our new home, my mother gave me
The Gift of Anxiety
I am working on thanking God for my problems, and it occurred to me today that one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever received is my anxiety. I’ve had anxiety all my life. I have learned to treat it with a
Always a New Dawn
One thing I have learned in my life is that after every hard time, every struggle, there comes a new dawn. The trick is to be open to it. To say Yes to its gifts. Change can be hard. I know
Growing Peace
Peace is something that we humans have to work at, if we want it. We have to cultivate it, in our families, our relationships, and our communities. My grandmother did all those things. She even grew peace in her garden. It
Rescuing Baby Fire Monsters
It is not only sheer fun to enter the pretend world of a child, but sometimes it gives us a glimpse of a better world. “These are our bear cages,” Hanah announces. (Hanah and her brother Elijah are visiting us, and
Serenity: Trust God and Refuse to Worry
My spiritual mentor of many years passed away last January. I miss her very much, especially now, with such alarming events going on in our world. So many times in the past when I was afraid or anxious, I would call
The Job of a Grandmother
The job of a grandparent is to make a grandchild feel beloved, special, secure. My grandmother did that for her grandchildren. Now I try to do that for my own grandchildren. World events can and do storm around us, but as
Self-Care is Not Selfish
I found becoming the mother of a newborn terrifying. I was completely responsible for this helpless mite. What if I screwed up? What if I forgot to do something crucial? How could I possibly think of myself when this little one
The First New Year’s Resolution I Need to Make
I know whereof I speak: the first and most important New Year’s resolution I need to make, and keep, is to go back to carving out that morning quiet time for reading, meditation, and prayer. Without that, any other resolutions I
Mindfulness: Being present to the gift in the moment
Years ago my mother kept a handwritten note on her refrigerator that read, “Help me be present to the present in this present moment.” My wish for you and for myself, in this busy time of preparations for the holidays, is
A Crater in My Life
It is Autumn, when a new batch of teenagers go away to college and a new batch of “empty-nester” parents learn to live a childless life, one no longer consumed by the ticking clock of responsibility for another human being. What
Sunshine
I think we are all susceptible, in these upsetting times, to feeling overwhelmed by bad tidings and dark news. Being stuck in mental darkness can be just as much a malady as a fever or a cold and can seem as
Singing to the Trees
On this beautiful summer day when I took my grandson Elijah (who is one and half) out in the stroller, his little words and phrases were longer, and went up and down the scale. He was singing. He sang with complete
“Oom” to All of Us
In mid-April, my husband and I went back to our grandchildren’s house for the first time in over a year. We were vaccinated and thrilled to be back. Hanah, who is a “big girl” (3 years old), goes to daycare now.
New Gardens Out Ahead
I had doubts about becoming Catholic. It was 1999. I was enrolled in RCIA (the Catholic membership program for adults). I felt that it was time to join my husband and children in their faith, and I saw that my instructors
A Shadow Between You and the Sun
Experiencing sexual abuse as a child creates a whole assembly of ghosts, buried within you. A faint shadow of unresolved pain, always between you and the sun. A flicker of fear when stepping into an elevator with strange men. A false
More than a Teapot (Passing the Torch)
Men of my Uncle Barton’s generation did not cry in public, but his eyes were shining with tears as he stood in the restaurant parking lot and pulled a cardboard box out of the trunk of his car. “Open this later…
“Just Like My Love for You”
Monarch butterflies have had a special meaning for us ever since the death of my infant granddaughter Eliana. The summer after she died, we saw Monarch butterflies everywhere, even though an unusual hard frost in Mexico, where the Monarch butterflies spend
Letter to My Dad
Dear Dad— Twenty-seven years ago today Mom and I stood at your bedside in the hospital in Pensacola. We read from the Psalms and Mom said, through her tears, “Joy comes with the morning, Wirth. Joy comes with the morning!” I
Bum Glue and Dreams
When I was eight years old, I got my own library card, which felt like my very own key to a treasure trove. That was the year I held a children’s book in my hands and knew what I wanted to
“God Will Take Care of You”
In 12 Step programs there is a step that talks about “being restored to sanity”. To me, sanity is serenity, and, like many people, my serenity has been in short supply these past few days. I have found myself anxious
Shannon and Christian’s Wedding
It is with great joy that I announce the marriage of my daughter Shannon Ruth Coyne to Christian Rosado de Jesus on September 5th, 2020, here at the house Shannon grew up in, our home in Naperville.
Shannon and Christian
The First Child Going Off to College: “A Hole in My Heart”
It is September, a time of new beginnings for college students and new endings for their mothers.
When my daughter Elizabeth went off to college in September of 2005, we grieved the painful gap in our family circle. For me
“Courage is Fear that Has Said its Prayers”
When I went back to work after my second daughter was born, I had a constant fear like an ache in my stomach.
Shannon was six months old and Liz was two and a half. I had to get them
Really Screwing Up as a Mom, and its Benefits: A Letter to my Niece
This year’s Memorial Day’s gatherings have had to be nonexistent or very small.
So, I’m remembering with extra enjoyment a large and very special Memorial Day gathering, four years ago. In May of 2016, most of the women in my
A Mother’s Day Wish
I have a Mother’s Day Wish. It is for every woman, since we all mother in one way or another. My Mother’s Day Wish is that each of us, for one day, put aside all criticism of ourselves and of
Recycling Christmas…
I have a confession to make: I have a bundle of Christmas cards that I received in 2013, some of them never opened. They sit in a yellow file folder in the cupboard over my kitchen desk. Throwing papers into
The Wolves’ Rebellion: In Writing, as in Life, Things Don’t Always Go As Planned
For readers who like Mara and Borealis, the two wolves who lead Princess Blair to safety in On the Wolf’s Path, here is a story about how they almost did not come to be…
Mother’s Blue Bowl (Follow the Wind)
We all have them.
Memories tied up in wood, or glass. Physical artifacts containing invisible family stories of the people whose blood pulses through our veins. Stories that tie us to the past, but also give us vision
In Between
My granddaughter Hanah is 16 months old now, and at daycare she has been promoted out of the baby room. She is in with the toddlers now. The toddlers get to sleep in cots on the floor (about one inch
Writer-Daughter
Three years ago today, my first granddaughter, Eliana, died in Children’s Memorial Hospital in Chicago, after several painful months of life.
Today I sit in the sunshine in Eliana’s mother’s house. My daughter Elizabeth and I are both
Detritus
A row of American Girl dolls across the top of the computer desk in the guest room. A lone girl’s sandal on the floor of my closet. And the question that nags me. “Should I take it to Goodwill (where
On the Enduring Power of Gratitude
I’ve passed on to Hanah’s Mama, my daughter Elizabeth, some baby clothes that Elizabeth wore, and family heirlooms such as the dress she was christened in. But the most memorable and perhaps most helpful thing I’ve ever given to Elizabeth
Does Wisdom Come with Age?
People say that the older you get, the smarter you get. But sometimes I wonder…
Accepting Criticism Gracefully – Getting Past the “Ouch”
The truth is easy to listen to if it’s positive. But what about the truth I don’t want to hear, the criticism that makes me bristle? I can learn from it, but only if I choose…
Each Little Light
As I wind the strands of shining multicolored Christmas lights through the branches of my tree, the thought comes into my mind that there is perhaps another galaxy of brightly colored little lights, lights that only God can see…
Missing Mommy
At 8 months, Hanah was deeply into her “attachment-to-Mommy” phase. I was holding her as she napped and thinking of telling her, “Hanah, I’m 64, but right now I really want my Mommy too”…
Baby Time
There are things you forget, when your years with a baby are long past. One of them is baby time, and how it differs from ordinary time…
On Writing: How the Character Archimedes Came to Be
Fantasy gives us a chance to look at the human condition from unique and detached viewpoints…I thought it might be fun to come up with a talking animal who … doesn’t think much of Florian, and is dubious about