One of my New Year’s resolutions is to be more open to criticism, both in my personal life and in my writing. This is not easy. But it can be done.
Years ago, when I was a novice technical writer, I was lucky enough to have as my mentor one of the finest writers I have ever known. During the first review of the first technical book I ever wrote, she acted as recorder (writing down reviewer comments for me). I quickly noticed that after every single comment, even if it was negative, she would say something like “Thanks!” or “That’s great!” or “Good insight, thanks.”
She treated every reviewer comment as if it were a Christmas present. She received their feedback not only positively, but with obvious gratitude.
When I asked her about it later, she said, “We have to put aside our egos and remember that every comment makes the book better.”
That learning stuck with me. For the rest of my technical writing career, I reminded myself, and taught other writers, that without the technical expertise of our reviewers, we could not get our work done. Therefore, the proper response to every kind of feedback, whether we agreed with it or not, was a genuine “Thanks!”
It was relatively easy to do this at work. I was getting paid to produce a product. I worked hard at what I did and enjoyed the writing, but I wasn’t emotionally invested in it the way I am with my personal writing.
Now, however, in my retirement, I write and publish fiction for children.
It is far, far harder to accept negative criticism of my fiction than it ever was to accept it for the books I wrote at work.
I received some negative criticism of my fiction from another writer a few months ago. It really hurt. I did not agree with some of it. But after the emotion settled down, I looked at it again, and learned from it. It wasn’t a pleasant experience. But I am a better writer because of it.
Feedback from another human being, even if it is negative, really is a Christmas present. I can choose to unwrap it or let it stay under the tree and gather dust.
But I will never learn from it, if I don’t open the present.