I know whereof I speak: the first and most important New Year’s resolution I need to make, and keep, is to go back to carving out that morning quiet time for reading, meditation, and prayer. Without that, any other resolutions I make will fade away before the last stale Christmas cookie gets thrown out.
This time of year I find myself measuring, counting, evaluating. How can I lose those five pounds I picked up over the holidays? Get rid of the stacks of paper that lurk in the corners of my house and multiply when I am not looking? How can I be better, look better, get more done? The list of resolutions takes on a life of its own and looms so enormous that I find myself breathless before I’ve actually done anything.
I suspect that my Higher Power just looks at me lovingly and shakes his head, every time I go into this January frenzy of resolution-making.
“You were good enough for me in December,” I seem to hear him say. “Why do you suddenly have to be better in January?”
But there is something so deceptive, so alluring, about starting a new year. Self-improvement seems easily within my grasp. Resolutions multiply faster than those papers on my desk. Surely, if I just read enough self-help articles, make a timetable, put a rubber band around my wrist…
The bottom line: changing myself is HARD. Without the self-discipline and self-awareness I get through prayer and meditation, I find it well-nigh impossible to make any lasting change. Not to mention that I might be throwing myself into an improvement that my Higher Power thinks unimportant or even a distraction from what he wants me to be doing.
So… before I dive in, cleats on, to tackle this impossibly long list of resolutions and try to get all of them done before lunch, I need to take a deep breath.
And remember my first and most powerful resolution: That morning quiet time.
I’ve been steadfast in carving out my morning quiet time for some years now…except lately.
December, ah December. Cookies to make, presents to wrap, family to entertain, grandchildren to cherish. Laughter and wonderful moments started blowing up my daily routine like explosions of confetti. Before I knew it, Finding The Right Dessert and Buying The Perfect Stocking-Stuffers became high priorities. Getting It All Done became more important than self-care.
My quiet time degenerated into a glance at the page and a quick prayer as I raced down the stairs.
God in his gracious mercy and love brought us all through it beautifully.
We had a wonderful Christmas season.
But it wasn’t until I had time again for my daily quiet time that I realized how much I needed to be restored. To serenity. To balance. To my role as a Junior Partner in life, with my Higher Power the Senior Partner.
So this year my New Year’s resolution is simple: Take that morning quiet time.
Listen in the silence.
Guidance will come, about what I need to focus on, and what I need to change.
Wisdom, and the courage to change the things I can, will appear.
They always do.