I have a Mother’s Day Wish. It is for every woman, since we all mother in one way or another. My Mother’s Day Wish is that each of us, for one day, put aside all criticism of ourselves and of others, and practice what mothers do instinctively, 365 days of the year… join in the unending circle of unconditional love that makes the universe go round.

My mother did a wonderful job at her career, which was being a stay-at-home mom. She made meals from scratch, grew vegetables, canned fruit, made clothes for us, and squeezed every penny out of a limited budget. After working all day at home, she would put on a nice dress and nylons and faithfully attend PTA meetings.  She was active in our church and gave a lot of support to my father, who was a Methodist minister. 

And every day when I walked in the door after school, my mother would be there to say, “How was your day?” She made sure to be there, every day, when we came home. That was her language of love.  

Never once did any of her four children not know that she loved us, and that she was there to listen to us.

When I grew up, I chose an exciting career, outside of the home.  I had thought to be at home to raise my children, however, like my mother did.  But when the time came, for many reasons I couldn’t just stop out from my career.

So, I ended up being a pathbreaker, the first mother in my family to be working 40 hours a week, with children in daycare. 

My husband and I both worked fulltime, but every other part of our lives we put on hold to love our children and be with them. I hope that never once did our two daughters doubt that they were loved, and cherished, and that they danced in a circle of love that spun throughout the universe and into our living room. 

I do know that from the time they were two years old I told my children one thing over and over again, squatting down and looking straight into their eyes. I told them this so many times that they knew it by heart and would say it with me: 

“No matter where you go or what you do, I will always, always love you.”

As I write this, my daughter Liz is on leave from her job and nursing a three-and-a-half month-old who has just learned to turn his head and look at the world.  When we “Zoom”ed with them last week, Elijah’s head was turned to the side and the computer screen was right in front of his nose. He saw us, but after a couple of seconds he ignored us and turned his head back to stare at his mother. And my daughter beamed back at him, speaking softly, with that look and smile that say, “I am in love with you for all time.”

Liz plants seeds with two-year-old Hannah and takes her outside to help garden. They go for walks to the river and they visit a magnolia tree in bloom.  Liz holds Hannah on her lap, hugging her and reading to her in that special tone of voice that says, “It doesn’t matter that your favorite word is ‘No’ and that you have typical toddler temper tantrums. I love you and will love you for all time.”

Three mothers, each living different lives, in different circumstances. But each speaking the same language, love, to their children.

So, my wish on Mother’s Day, for every mother and for every woman, is that we put aside all criticism of others. Even better, I wish for all of us a day free from the self-inflicted wounds of perfectionism and harsh self-judgment.

For one day, for just this one day, may we all participate in the act of love as mothers and children do. May we all throw off fear and uncertainty and insecurity and dance in the sunshine of unconditional love.