I did a blog once on baby time. 

I have learned to savor baby time. Baby time is time away from my to-do lists, from the endless chatter in my head about What To Do Next. When I hold a sleeping baby, as I have been holding my newest grandchild Lucas, time seems to slow down, stretch luxuriously like a cat in the sun. When I hold this sleeping newborn, elbows up beside his head, legs dangling, face filled with the blankness of deep, deep sleep… when I hold this warm little sleeping baby, I sometimes feel as if time itself has stopped… as if time, like a large good-hearted spirit, has come by and is peeking over my shoulder to say, “Ah, this is a good moment.” That is baby time.

But recently I’ve been experiencing more and more of a different kind of time: “Grandma time.”

This past August my family put on a party for me, to celebrate my 70th birthday. In addition to the slide show, the scavenger hunt, the outing to a splash park and playground, catered tapas for lunch, and gifts, there was a lovely program, during which someone asked me “How does it feel to be 70?”

It was then that I experienced a deep moment of Grandma time.

I looked at my two daughters and their husbands, all of them loving, committed, terrific parents. I saw Shannon with her baby and Liz with three young children and another on the way. I see my daughters dedicated to their children as I was dedicated to mine; I see them immersed in baby time as I was when I was a young mother.

But I am 70 years old now and know how swiftly time passes. Looking at my daughters and sons-in-law at the party, as we laughed and talked, I suddenly saw the future, with wonder and gratitude. I saw their children growing up and having children of their own. I saw how in the blink of an eye, all of my daughters and sons-in-law will be 70 years old, surrounded by children and grandchildren, and someone will be asking them, “What does it feel like to be 70?”

I didn’t have the words to answer, at the party, how it felt to be 70, so I just answered “strange” (which is also true, and got some laughs). But I’ve been thinking about the question ever since.

What does it feel like to be 70?

 What it feels like to be 70 is to be living in a kaleidoscope, where past memories and present experiences and glimpses into the future all come at once.

In Grandma time, kaleidoscope time, I see time as fleeting and yet also as permanent. I see that as I grow older (“70 and on!” as was written on the program for my party), my children’s children will be going to school, growing up, having adventures. And soon the sweet perennial pattern of loving mothers with their babies will occur again, in a new generation.

Grandma time is seeing, all at once, many images from many different times. I see myself at 12, getting plants from a kind-hearted gardener in our church, starting my first garden. I see today, when both my daughters have their own homes and prairie gardens that I gave to them as housewarming presents. I see a yellow climbing rose in Shannon’s garden, that I gave to her. I see the zinnias that I grew from seed just this spring, blooming freely and colorfully in Elizabeth’s yard. I see my grandchildren growing up, learning to love and cherish this Earth and everything that grows upon it. I see my grandchildren someday having gardens of their own, at their own houses.

I see myself in sixth grade, starting to write my first novel. I see Shannon in fourth grade, writing about Christmas and coming up with the phrase, “and the joy comes over us again,” and her teacher writing a note in the margin saying, this girl is a writer. I see Elizabeth, now, writing Substack pieces, books for her children, and full-length nonfiction books.

I also see, to be honest, times of pain and the inevitability (for me) of fear and trembling when I enter each new phase of my life.

But I have learned in my 70 years of living that in all times, in the swift passage of time and the timeless moments, in the times of joy and the times of pain, I will be all right. Because I have learned that underlying each moment of my life, past, present and future, is a steady groundswell of love, from He who created time, and created us. I know that I can never step outside His love or escape His steady companionship.

In Grandma time, baby time, and all times, life is full and rich and good.