Category: Meditations

In 12 Step programs there is a step that talks about “being restored to sanity”. To me, sanity is serenity, and, like many people, my serenity has been in short supply these past few days. I have found myself anxious and fearful from a combination of the raging Pandemic, widespread joblessness and suffering, and waiting for the results of our Presidential election.

This morning, like a gift, the song “God will take care of you” was running through my mind when I awoke. It is an old, old hymn from my grandmother’s time. The lines are old-fashioned but I find them so reassuring right now:

When I went back to work after my second daughter was born, I had a constant fear like an ache in my stomach.

Shannon was six months old and Liz was two and a half. I had to get them out of bed in the morning, dress and feed them, and take them to the sitter’s house. After I finished work for the day, I would bring them home, cook supper, and feed them. My husband was a terrific partner and parent when he was home, but he had a long commute into Chicago from the suburbs, and he worked late and traveled often.

I was terribly afraid, afraid that I wouldn’t have the stamina to work fulltime while caring for very two young children. Plenty of times, I was so tired when I got to work in the morning that the day ahead seemed overwhelming.

I’ve passed on to Hanah’s Mama, my daughter Elizabeth, some baby clothes that Elizabeth wore, and family heirlooms such as the dress she was christened in. But the most memorable and perhaps most helpful thing I’ve ever given to Elizabeth is a file folder label with a handwritten note on it…