I remember when we were waiting for our first baby, who was late, and still not coming. We waited day after day. Finally, we went to the Arboretum near us and walked and walked. It was April and there was a strong wind blowing. I remember that the wind blew my hair straight back from my face and we said into the wind, “Come, baby, come!”

In the 38 years since we waited for that baby I’ve had to wait for many things. Wait for a baby’s high fever to come down. Wait for a baby’s tooth to come through so we can get some sleep. Wait through layoffs at work.  I’m still waiting on my life’s dream of commercially publishing a book.  Waiting on prayers for a dear friend who never seems to have received the love and joy I have in my life, and why not, God?  Prayers mixed with sorrow for those who never get the advantages that I have had, or who suffer losses that make my life’s losses seen picayune.

Waiting is hard, especially when you’re waiting for fulfillment of a precious dream. Or waiting through a difficult and sorrowful situation that seems to never have an end. Or waiting and hoping that a painfully broken relationship will heal. But waiting has its gifts.  Waiting has taught me patience. Humility. Waiting has knocked the top layer off my ever-present and arrogant assumption that I know what’s best for myself and for everyone else in the world. Best of all, waiting has brought me closer to an always loving and always compassionate God, and deepened my trust in and reliance on Him. As a friend of mine often said, “If my problems have brought me to prayer, then they have served a purpose.”

Waiting can be really hard, especially when we pray for good things and don’t see them happening, at least not on our timetable. Waiting can also sometimes bring times of heart-changing grief, such as for babies Eliana and Ava who came, changed us forever, and then left us.

But waiting can also bring times of such great joy… for my daughter Elizabeth and her husband Chris and for the rest of our family, as they brought into our lives story-living Hanah, caring Elijah, determined Aria.

My daughter Shannon and her husband Christian waited, sometimes hopefully, sometimes fearfully; but now they have a very healthy, large, curious seven-month-old baby boy who is growing like a mushroom under their tender love and care.

Elizabeth is waiting for another baby now. (Elizabeth is the same baby we waited for, 38 years ago.)

Sometimes, we just have to wait.

Waiting. Feeling the loving breath of a God who whispers, “Patience… and no matter what happens, I will be with you.”

Clinging to the words of Julian of Norwich: “All shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well.”